Today I was tested. All the work, devotion and practice is to prepare us for when our pain body rises to the surface. When we are at a low and susceptible to breaking back to our old patterns. These patterns that have been known to us for years. The pain body can easily penetrate and release the ego back into the divers seat. Back to patterns that only circulate more pain, shame and guilt. I am writing this now to acknowledge my pain, my pattern. This tool of writing provides a release and a canvas to feel and hear my pain body speak. I hear you pain and I know you served a purpose at one time in my life. An escape to pleasure for a brief moment you took away the ach, hurt, shame and guild but within in this pleasure only comes more ach, hurt, shame and guilt that no longer serves me now. Thank you for teaching me and strengthening my connection with spirit. For this I am forever grateful.